my flight to nicaragua

when i got to my gate in houston i noticed that there were about 75 people wearing neon colored shirts. all neon peoplez were jumping around + yelling. i double checked my gate number. dangit. i was at the right gate.
i’m convinced my plane is being taken over by a youth group…and my suspicions were confirmed when i saw bible verses on the back of every shirt.

when i boarded the plane i realized that my seat was in the veryyyy last row. do you know what that means in the kingdom? IM FIRST. haha hallelujah…thank ya lawwwd. during my hike to the back i realized that the second half of the plane was occupied entirely by neon peoplez. i was wearing a cream sweater that hung off one of my shoulders. lots of eyes watched me walk to my seat + i felt like jezebel with my bare shoulder gleaming.

i sat next to two neon peoplez and quickly realize that they were a couple. i think the leg caressing might have been what clued me in. now, i don’t mind PDA that much but when these middle schoolers (ok maybe they were 16? mayyyybe.) started making out my views quickly changed. i wanted to be like “awww young love! how adorable!” but then there was more touching + i was like frickkk WHERE DO I LOOK? i half watched them long enough to read the verse on the dooodez shirt that talked about “the one thing.” i was slightly skeptical about what one thing they were after. then, i tried looking right in front of me but my peripheral vision proved to be excellent. so i looked the other way until the girl across the row from me met my gaze + gave me a face that said, STOP STARING AT ME. so i resorted to closing my eyes. but i could hear them. so i dug out my headphones + entered into blissville. i remained there until the snoring pulled me back. i opened my eyes to find them basically on top of each other with hands everywhere. i’m not sure how but they somehowwwwwww managed to fall asleep in their origami position. what the efff. i had thoughts about attracting one of their chaperons but i had equally as strong thoughts about how that would make me either a grandma or a total prick. so i closed my eyes, turned my volume up and thought about two things. 1) what a bummer it was that alcohol wasn’t free on this flight. 2) how much i was looking forward to putting hand sanitizer on as soon as exited the plane.

if this flight wasn’t exciting enough, the pictures (with flash) upped it a notch. i don’t know who decided it was photo time but i suppose it made since because everyone in the back 1/2 of the plane (besides me) was part of the neon church club. so i thought i’d try + fit in by looking as stoner-ish as possible with my sexy bare shoulder. i mean, if i am going to be that random chick in 20 pictures, might.as.well.

i also had a neon person fall on me on the way to the bathroom. stupid turbulence. his profuse apology made the whole ordeal wayyy more awkward than it needed to be.

i ended the flight with coffee + journaling while the neon couple continued their make out sesh. i managed three meager lines in my journal, “lawwwd forgive me for judging. i bless the neon peoplez. now, can we please laugh about everything that just happened?”

and that was my plane ride. frickin glory. i hope you laughed.