IT happened.
today i became a 90 year old grandma.
if you are confused, read on–i will explain my reasoning.
you see, it doesn’t take much to be accepted into this category. in fact, there are a few ways you can be initiated:
1) farting while walking up the stairs
2) having a short term memory
3) eating at Luby’s cafeteria
4) joining a water aerobics class
5) peeing in your pants…ehhemm in public.
being a classy gal, i chose the later option…err…my bladder chose it. the worse part was i knew i had to pee but in the process of exploring a little vintage store i completely forgot. (mistake number one) i was looking at some incredible picture frames when IT happened. i bent down (mistake number two) to get a better look at one on the ground and that’s when i suddenly remembered that i had to pee really really bad. i quickly stood up and started doing the pee pee dance. i switched to crossing my legs while i desperately scanned the store for a little bathroom sign. i resorted to praying silent prayers for mercyyyyy.
the only relief that came was when i peed my pants. yup. ya heard me right homie. i PEED my PANTS….in the store.
and that is why at 23 1/2 years old i have graduated to grandma status.
anecdotes of a sassafras 
Been there done that and passed a lot of the other tests so-o-o-o I must also be a 90 year old Grandma!! Actually this was so funny I laughed out loud just knowing what was going to happen!!! That’s what good writers do, relate to the reader and they feel like they are there!!! You deserve a Gold Star for this one!!! Ha Ha Ha!!